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Chapter 31/Page 5 |
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The lights were off at 4’s place and her car was gone. It was almost two in the morning.
•••
There were three messages waiting for me at home: 4’s “love you madly,” a moment of static, as if someone had been on the line for a while before hanging up, and another brief message from 4. “Hi. Sorry I missed you. I guess I’ll see you later.” Not much to get excited about. I saved the first one and erased the others.
•••
“I don’t feel so good.” “What’s wrong, buddy? “I threw up.” I got up to take the first piss of the morning, and sure enough, Wiener had indeed thrown up in my tighty-whities. It hadn’t been a wet dream, but there was definitely a funky discharge down there. This was not good at all. Slowly, with great trepidation, I gave the Bladder the go-ahead to release. “Oh, god, please don’t burn. Please don’t burn,” Wiener and I chanted together. The Urine flowed through the Urethra and out Wiener painlessly. Whew!
•••
“And the crowd goes wild,” my Doctor said when I whipped out my cock in his office. That was his clever way of setting me at ease. He had a female med student interning with him. I know he asked if it would be all right if she stayed in the room and helped, and I’m sure I thought, “No, it wouldn’t,” but somehow the words came out, “Sure, that would be fine.” Now, with the student fumbling around with my Little Elvis as if she’d never seen a living one before, it was anything but fine. “Did that hurt?” “No, I love having a Q-Tip jammed in the hole of my penis. I’m sorry if my moan of ecstasy embarrassed you.” She didn’t appreciate my humor nearly as much as my Doctor, who chortled across the room. I hope she remembers my contribution to her education. “Are we done?” She looked up at me a little dumbfounded. I motioned my eyes to my penis, still gently cradled in her left hand. “I think so,” she said. Med student unaware, penis still in hand, clock ticking. Can’t... contain... myself... any... longer. “May I have my cock back?” Blushing med student carefully returns penis to original dangle. Doctor maintains professionalism.
•••
The rest of my day: 1. We got into a fight at work after I confronted her about taking so long to call me. I didn’t mention stalking her apartment. 2. She told me she didn’t want to see me anymore. Period. 3. I figured out some algebra. Check it out:
I want a breather = I don’t want your penis inside me anymore. I need space = I don’t want your penis inside me anymore. I just need time to think = I don’t want your penis inside me anymore. I don’t want a big relationship now = I don’t want your penis inside me anymore.
4. My Doctor called with my test results. The good news: I didn’t have gonorrhea. Yay! The bad news: I did have some sort of chlamydia trachomatis thing that was transmitted sexually but easily taken care of with antibiotics.
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